Skip Navigation
Catharsis
|
Post by Tempest on Feb 18, 2009 21:25:16 GMT -5
She'd said her piece. And then his mumble... it felt like it was aimed just to get her riled up again. If that was his aim, then fine. Let him try. She was done with it.
He went from self-pity to seductive in almost no time flat. Again, not something that should have fazed Caroline. Still, her temper flared briefly inside. If not for the fact that she was determined not to unintentionally push him away again by rising to the challenge, she might have gone off again on another rant.
His charm was nice and all, but it rang too similar to the wolf Tobias from long ago- the one that had circled her in the forest near Cryian. The same wolf from the auditorium... not so angry this time around. Still, it would have been hard to turn down such an offer, even if Caroline had felt in the mind to do so. It took a great deal of self-control not to give in to baser instincts and push him to the floor right then and there.
"Sounds good to me," she replied shortly (revealing a bit of impatience, despite the fact that she was attempting to come off collected and calm). With a nod to the bartender, she exited the establishment. The cool night air struck her like a slap and made her take a step back and reevaluate everything that had happened to bring them to this point. It was brief, but it was almost enough to bring back the voices. Almost. Thankfully, she was able to concentrate more on the company.
"So... if I'm a Babylonian whore, what does that make you?"
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 18, 2009 21:55:51 GMT -5
Tobias hurled himself after Caroline, his fist clinched in rage. Blinded with anger and pride, the only thing he wanted to do was express his passion on anything that stood in his way. The bartender hand hid in the back, too scared to look and pursue the safety of the woman Tobias was after.
The door, however, received no mercy. It splintered around the hinges as he swung it open. As the wood paneling bounced off the walls, it sounded like a blast from a cannon.
"Will you just stop being such a shrew?" He bellowed. His voice resonated in the dark ally. "I mean, step off yer high fecking horse. WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS, BUT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO PERFECT IN YOURS?"
He slammed his fist into the wall, missing the side of her face by inches. The plaster cracked against the weight of his punch, which meant he was far less human than he had the right to be. Blood poured out from the gapping wound on his knuckles, and splattered against the pavement as he shook his fist loose.
His blood was running hot. Tobias could feel the poison of the monster run through him. He was turning into Hyde...and he'd have to kill it off somehow. The only thing that worked...the only thing that had ever quashed the sadistic animal in him.
What other option did he have? He was too cowardly to kill himself, he knew that, but to be a junky? The very act could save lives, and maybe even his own. The thought disgusted Tobias.
He stumbled away from Caroline, the brightness of his copper eyes reflected in the pale sliver of moonlight. "Caroline...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry." his voice cracked with unnamed emotion. "But I love you...and I can't put you through this."
|
|
|
Post by Tempest on Feb 21, 2009 18:31:42 GMT -5
Okay, so what the hell? One minute, he's making suggestive comments partnered with suggestive body language. The next, he's a bellowing beast. Bipolar much? High highs and LOW lows. And anger. He was clearly under the wolf's influence, but why was it so erratic now? Had something coalesced in his psyche to grant more power to something he had once striven so hard to accept and control?
The punch had surprised her and she hadn't moved until a hot droplet of his blood landed on her cool cheek. A shrew, was she? Maybe she DID have to give him gold-embossed invitations. Or maybe she should just strip down and spread her legs. Caroline would HAVE to be a Babylonian whore or a Venetian harlot or a courtesan or a prostitute just to make her own intentions clear to this man.
And then his rage was over. Caroline was exasperated by this point, but it wasn't until he rejected her (yet again) that she gave in to anger once more. By now, she was wearied by the constant stream of rows they were given to. But how else could they be? If he wasn't changing his mind, she was holding herself at arm's length.
The moon was high and bright and she felt full with it, and more than inclined to let her drink run away with her tongue. All ambient sounds seemed to melt away so that her yell sounded all the louder. "OH THE COUNTERFEIT LOVE OF MEN. OH INCONSTANT SEX!" Her skin seemed to crawl with this, her fury. Whatever rant she might have had earlier seemed to pale in comparison with her limb-shaking, her flushed skin, the deadly glint in her dark eyes.
We take one step forward, two steps back.
She took a couple of deep breaths, telling herself that this was bound to happen. What does one get for playing with wild animals? They run away or bite you and you die from rabies later. Winning? That was for people with domesticated animals. For sane people. As each breath expelled, she seemed to withdraw. Her anger had made her swell and the ferocity of her frustration had illused her size to a grandeur it would not have had in daylight and clear senses.
Caroline turned away from him and asked, slowly, carefully, "Do you think you scare me, Tobias? Whatever you're capable of, do you think it can possibly be as much danger to me as that which I have faced and survived? I've been to Hell and back already! Top it, if you're of a mind!" She wiped the speck of blood off her cheek angrily, her voice thick with emotion. "You say you love me. Bah! Your words are heavy-handed and ill-used. Your love is too much like the moon, always waning and waxing at your leisure and whim. You love when it is convenient or easy, Lobo."
She looked up at the moon, tears finally spilling down her cheeks, and declaimed, "Yield up, O love, thy crown and hearted throne to tyrannous hate!"
Caroline whirled around and whispered, "You and I cannot be as we are. I'm the shrew, Babylon's whore, a coldhearted bitch, and you... you are the dove-feather'd raven, the fiend angelical. The wolf afraid of his own shadow when the moon is the light he beholds it by." The words carried, and she finished with, "Come to me with words like 'love' when you feel like standing your ground against your vilest nature. Only then can you ask me to deny mine."
||Blah... I dunno about this post, yo.||
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2009 10:33:21 GMT -5
Tobias let out a heavy sigh and passed his hand over his face. "I need to cool down," he murmured to himself as he lit a cigarette and began to pace. His eyes hadn't changed back to their normal blue. It was as if the golden, feral look was there to stay.
"Look I'm sorry alright...I'm just...not in control as much as I thought I'd be. The mood swings are terrible, the rages unsettling...I just don't want you to be hurt. I'll try and be kinder toward you, okay?"
He didn't know what else to say, let alone do. He couldn't escape his thoughts or his head, he didn't know how to love her in the ways that he knew he should.
"What do you expect from me Caroline?" Tobias asked with uncertainty. "Why do you want to put yourself through all of this .... I don't know... manic behavior? What have I done to earn your constant pursuit?"
He breathed in slowly and counted to ten. There was still an abundance of anger festering in the pit of his stomach, slowly boiling over until it would burst from him. Again he breathed in and tried to think of serene images. Babbling brooks. Mountain peaks draped in white snow. A green orchard. He exhaled. The anger subsided slightly but was not put out.
|
|
|
Post by Tempest on Mar 4, 2009 19:09:18 GMT -5
She still breathed heavily through her teeth; her nose was beginning to congest with the tears and Caroline felt slightly lightheaded. But still angry. What right did he have anymore?
Ah, so there was the human again. Apologies. They rankled her like bile in her stomach. He always apologized. This was another part of that goddamned dance of his. Apology, then coldness, then rage, then apology again.
"Tobias, I'm too tired for this. I don't know why I am so obsessed over you. It can't possibly be... I dunno... the fact that you're still one of the most sane men in my life... or maybe it's the fact that you keep saving me from said crazies." She stumbled to a nearby wall and slumped against it, her hands over her face. "Once I thought I might be some kind of constant in your life- a rock or something... now I realize I'm just as screwed up as you are. Maybe in a different way perhaps, but the pattern's the same."
She started to cry again. "I can't expect anything anymore. Not from you, not from me..." God, not more crying. Truly, this was a night for the record books. Her jaw tightened and she used the back of the towel to soak up the fluid on her cheeks. It had to stop, this incessant self-pity. Dammit, she was alive and even if she had feelings for a man who was incapable of returning them without changing his mind shortly thereafter, then so be it.
Caroline sighed. "If you want me to leave you alone, Tobias, then say it and be done with it. I am not incapable of self control." Her slur said otherwise, but she didn't care. In this she would be sure to follow the rules. If he didn't want her, then she wouldn't waste their time. It was just... she needed something to go on... something to make it clear to her that what she was doing wasn't some Apollo-esque chase of Daphne only to find out she would rather be a tree than love him. Her.
Whatever. "I don't want you to turn into a tree just to escape me," she whispered as she leaned her head onto her arms and pulled her knees up to her chest. Tired... she just felt tired... and somewhat old.
If he DID want her, really and truly... could she pull a Zeus to give chase? Turn into whatever was needed in order to continue following? Was it even possible? Caroline was no God, after all.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2009 23:47:39 GMT -5
"Ugggh," Tobias moaned, feeling the liquor slosh around in his empty gut. "I do want you, I do. I'm just so confused. I'm like...there's just... a duality. I can't find a center." He leaned against the wall opposite him and took a lengthy drag from his cigarette.
Would she understand better if he told her what had happened only moments before in the bar? Or would it finally scare her away? Which would be the better judgment?
"I...I uh, have to apologize," he said at last, after a dull silence had fallen between them. "Inside the bar, I almost...sorta...bit you...well your neck...anyway...sorry?" His thick brows punched together as he looked at her pleadingly waiting for her final judgment.
He wished that he could pull his words out of the air and hide them again. Maybe if he brought her attention to something else she would forget what he had just said.
Tobias gazed up at the sliver of moon, how was it affecting him now at its weakest point? If he were to become uncontrollable, the only thing that had ever worked really would only be a few phone calls away. But then what?
He coughed and looked down the empty street. "How's your hand?"
|
|
|
Post by Tempest on Mar 5, 2009 15:54:28 GMT -5
Caroline's jaw tightened. Oh, sure, there was a duality. That was supposed to explain everything now, was it? If only she had such an excuse.
When Tobias announced that he had to apologize, she lifted her head and looked at him blankly. Another apology? What was this one for? She listened, her expression changing dramatically from hurt to guarded to resigned. In the long run, this was nothing. Hell, she had been blissfully unaware until this time.
"Point is, you didn't bite me. Nothing to apologize for, except for maybe letting me think that I had done something wrong." With a sigh, she pushed herself upwards using the wall for balance. "Your bites aren't infectious, right? You're not a werewolf. I'm not afraid, Tobias." She glanced at him, her eyes softer than her expression. "Still... I guess... thanks for not biting me..."
His question made her regard the towel still somewhat loosely wrapped around her bloody palm. "It's fine. I'll see what I can put on it when I get home." At the moment, all she wanted was to not think about things. No matter what, it always had to be complicated. She wished for something to hold on to, some boulder-steady truth between them. Not even love was that secure in this violent tempest.
"Still want to walk me there?" She asked carefully, her voice emotionless. It had been but just a few minutes ago that she would have asked that with a saucy grin.
Please say yes...
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2009 14:57:14 GMT -5
Tobias pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry I'm doing this to you...." He was lucky to have someone as supportive as her.
He was beyond lucky, but if he told her, she wouldn't believe him. Actions, after all, speak louder than words, and at the moment Tobias was showing a poor display of affection.
He didn't know if his bites were infectious, and even if they weren't, it didn't mean Caroline wouldn't suffer. The bite might be so dangerous that they would have to cut off her arm to save her. At the vary least, it would give her plenty of stitches and hadn't she had enough of those for a life time?
"'Spose I can," Tobias slurred, pushing himself off the cold brick wall. He was back to himself now, or at least more human than he had been. Tobias still struggled with the identity of self, but he assumed the wolf was dormant once more.
Tobias placed his hand on the small of Caroline's back and pushed her toward the main street, which was well lit and better inhabited should anything happen.
|
|
|
Post by Tempest on Mar 9, 2009 22:29:10 GMT -5
Another apology. How many more would it take before he could forgive himself? Caroline refrained from saying anything more than, "S'alright."
As they headed to the lights and noise of the main street, Caroline felt oddly calm for having lost her temper a few times earlier that same night. Sure, there was still a rawness to the emotions under her skin, but they weren't sparking electrically every time Tobias spoke. The doubt and unhappiness were there too, but she was worn out from the feeling. Being on emotional overdrive had numbed her nerves just enough to make her stomach unclench and her shoulders relax.
The drink certainly helped. It was almost hard to believe that she'd originally come out to drink the voices away, not drown her Tobias-related angst.
The light hurt her eyes at first, but they still focused on nearest streetlamp like moths drawn to a porchlight at dusk. "Thanks," she finally said to Tobias, dragging her gaze off the streetlamp and blinking the brightly-colored spots away. She didn't seem to notice that Tobias had led her to the main street for a reason; it was all the same to her.
Caroline stumbled and nearly fell off the curb and into the street and the measures she used to reverse this circumstance sent her reeling heavily into Tobias. Face flushing, she said a quick, "Oof! Sorry!"
||Blah, writer's block... next time, I might just send her into the path of an oncoming car... However, we'd then have to explore the likelihood of Caroline being so incredibly unlucky. XP ||
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2009 20:29:38 GMT -5
“No worries,” Tobias groaned rubbing his now bruised rib. His head was throbbing with his ribs and knuckles. He examined the peeling skin on his left hand for a brief moment, not much lower than his palm was the beginnings of an old scar. Or the end of it…depending on which way one looked. He needed to stop unloading his anger physically, or at least keep cool when he was drinking. Liquor always made it worse.
“Anyway,” Tobias mumbled, blinking his eyes as his vision weaved in and out of focus. “Where…where are we goin?” He draped his arm around her shoulders and gazed into the dying night. He was feeling he could actually go for another round, or another two…three. “You all…doin’ alright? Standing on your feet, yeah? Ooohkay.” He was rambling and he couldn’t help but think, good times.
||Bleck, I've got it too....||
|
|
|
Post by Tempest on Mar 13, 2009 11:18:57 GMT -5
||You know what? We can fast forward if you like... I'm running out of material! ||
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2009 18:09:34 GMT -5
||Yeah, I felt like I was gripping at straws. Where shall we have it?||
|
|
|