Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2014 15:41:23 GMT -5
Failing~
I have always found that writing in a journal relieves stress and any other kind of emotion.
I'm not sure if this is true for everyone though…it seems like it would be.
Anyhow. I am here at this place, I'm not going to tell the story of how I got here, just that Daddy said it would be safer here than back home. It is rather nice I suppose, but I do miss him a lot.
So, I am having bait of trouble. I know that books aren't people and cannot offer advice, but I still feel like talking to them about this. *Sigh* I am having a lot of trouble controlling my powers. When I think about using them, I think of my Mother who went crazy at the very mention of power. I do not want to be like her. I find it hard enough that I look almost the same and every time I look in the mirror I think of her. But these powers that I posses seem to…drive me crazy!
I can't even create a daisy without feeling excessively tired or anxiety filled. I feel like someone is watching. Always watching. Willing me to fail, willing me to go crazy. I know it sound horrible and rather fantastical, but I cannot change my feelings or the way my mind works, no matter how hard I try. And I really do try.
I find myself wanting to dart into nearest closet for safety whenever I think about Mother or Powers. It doesn't help that I'm stuck on this island with a bunch of other kids like me with powers!
Well, sorry. That was a bit harsh.
I'm glad I'm here. Really. I do feel a lot safer than I did back home. Which says a lot.
_____
I haven't been going to any classes yet, I don't feel very well. A lot more weaker. I'm probably psyching myself up, but I still can't help it.
I think I'l go for a walk in the rose garden to clear my mind., and maybe practice a little more on my powers.
Koa T'sara
I have always found that writing in a journal relieves stress and any other kind of emotion.
I'm not sure if this is true for everyone though…it seems like it would be.
Anyhow. I am here at this place, I'm not going to tell the story of how I got here, just that Daddy said it would be safer here than back home. It is rather nice I suppose, but I do miss him a lot.
So, I am having bait of trouble. I know that books aren't people and cannot offer advice, but I still feel like talking to them about this. *Sigh* I am having a lot of trouble controlling my powers. When I think about using them, I think of my Mother who went crazy at the very mention of power. I do not want to be like her. I find it hard enough that I look almost the same and every time I look in the mirror I think of her. But these powers that I posses seem to…drive me crazy!
I can't even create a daisy without feeling excessively tired or anxiety filled. I feel like someone is watching. Always watching. Willing me to fail, willing me to go crazy. I know it sound horrible and rather fantastical, but I cannot change my feelings or the way my mind works, no matter how hard I try. And I really do try.
I find myself wanting to dart into nearest closet for safety whenever I think about Mother or Powers. It doesn't help that I'm stuck on this island with a bunch of other kids like me with powers!
Well, sorry. That was a bit harsh.
I'm glad I'm here. Really. I do feel a lot safer than I did back home. Which says a lot.
_____
I haven't been going to any classes yet, I don't feel very well. A lot more weaker. I'm probably psyching myself up, but I still can't help it.
I think I'l go for a walk in the rose garden to clear my mind., and maybe practice a little more on my powers.
Koa T'sara