a strange empathy: evanna

evanna
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Jun 17, 2013 at 5:25pm
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Post by evanna on Jun 17, 2013 at 5:25pm

Full Name: Evanna. C. Rose, but my nickname is Eva
Gender: Female
Age: 15

Power(s):

So, Do you want to know my power? Ok, I can feel the emotion of people who surround me. If somebody is angry, I'm angry. If somebody is sad, I'm sad. But I can reverse this power. Don't you understand? If I want, I can make you scary, sad or happy. But is very difficult for me to do that and I needed to rest me. I was born with this power.

Appearance:

Ah Ah Ah. How can I describe me? I don't know what is my appearance. But I go to try with that people says about me. My size is medial. So few person notice me. And it is very good. Yet, my face doesn't go unnoticed. My large blond hair and my cold grey eyes are unforgettable. I know that my regard can insight into the system. My hair is always curling and I love wear old clothes. It's for that everybody knows I come from the past. I wear this clothes which show my waistline. Because I'm so thin and elegant. Be descriptive and detailed! Six sentences minimum.

Personality:

I am not very nice, but I don't mean too. Maybe to cause my power. I do something, not by meanness or kindness but because I want to do that. If I want to protect a person, I protect him. If I want to steal a book of somebody, I steal it. It's for that people don't know how be with me. I'm unstable. I can smile to somebody and hurt other people just for binge mean. Is it sadist? No, I'm just fretful when somebody is too happy or too sad. I think that I had needed to make react everybody who is around of me. Since my birth, I feel all emotion around me. The only thing which can calm me is my imagination. So I'm always in a book or I always listen music. Which is aggravating my reputation to cold girl. But it's never mind, I prefer that to be surrounded with people. [/u]

Picture(optional): If you have a picture of your character, detail in your appearance is preferred but not necessarily needed. Be sure to explain things not seen in a picture (if there is anything).

Weaknesses:

Then... My weaknesses are... mmh. Firstly my power is horrible. If somebody have suffered, I suffered. So I am never at peace. Secondly, the utilisation of my power is very difficult, so I must sleep after have used or I have a horrible migraine. And my appeaaence isn't the better to fight or to flee. So is simply for you to understand I have an ill-tempered. And I don't accept my mistakes, which is of me a detestable person. And don't try to say to me when I have a migraine because I will just desire you suffering.

Strengths:

Because my power, I always suffering, so I know to resist to all suffering (physical or emotional). It's for that I am insensible but it's a strenghts too. And I can say that I intelligent, because I read very much to forget the suffering.
But, maybe it's funny but I can understand very well your sadly and your suffering. And I learn to live with this suffering.[/u]

History/Family:

I am born on 25th May of 1998. My parents say that I don't stop crying. I don't remember me. My child isn't unfortunate but because my power, I never know to profit of the life. I am always angry, always sad. I don't have a sister or brother to play with me. I'm feeling only. And is hard. I'm always in dark thought. It is for that I appear sad. I smiley rarely and I cry often. Always children are happy, no? Not me. And everybody flees me. Oh they don't know about my power but nobody like the difference and I'm different. More adult and mature surly cause to my power.

My parents know that something is not normal. But they do like if they have nothing. Why? Maybe to protect me. I feel them sad, but I learn to appreciate their support. They give me all I want, all I need. They do always for my happiness. They are only. Everybody rejecst me. They don't know my power, but I'm not like all people. I was sad, but now, I thikg that is better because, I have not to support their emotion. And I haven't the choice. When my parents hear of Foresta, they decide to miss me. I don't want because it would admit my difference between my parents and me. But for them, I'm going to Foresta. And it was like before.

I grow up. And I am more cold. I don't speak, excepting to say banalities: "Hello!", "How are you?", "Goodbay!", "I'm so sorry". It's so fantastic!! No, Don't it is? I'm like a ghost. I wander in the academy, without goal apart from be only. I flee people and I became unsociable. And nobody see me, I'm invisible. My parents say that it will be more simply. It isn't right. Nobody say me and I say at nobody. It's very difficult to say you that you will be always only. But now I learn to live with this though. [/u]

In Character sample:

She was in front of the school's door. How did She felt? As usual, that is bad. Soon, She would have a migraine. Her mum had been said that it will differ. She didn't think. Always sames pains, and always sames joys. Why would this school change her life? Evanna crossed her arms. And She scowled her mum. She and her ideas! And what did she do? She looked at me and smiled. Evanna knew that her mum wants she was happy. Maybe exercised "ill will". She didn't want to go here, so why did She exercised a good while. Evanna wouldn't want to be hypocritical.

So all of that is to say that She was going to enter in school. She had seen the intelligence about it. Everybody agreed to say it was a beautiful school. Admittedly the school had it's charm. The big park and building were beautiful. But beautiful places didn't want to say it was a good atmosphere. On this thought, Evanna follew her mum inside the school.

She was not being able to stop thinking to feel this place wonderful. Maybe She was not pleased here but She could escape from reality. She continued to follow her mum to bedroom with intent to put her luggages. Evanna didn't speak, letting this stain for her mum. She always was chatting, and Evanna smiled when she saw her also playful.

She to have to support the speech of director. His worlds mixxed oneself and become and horrible "bla bla bla". She felt her migraine come back and she cringed to didn't leave of this room before the end of the speech. Finally, the director was leaving at our. Evanna said goodbye at her mum and she continued her life, as usual.

This is a fairly well done profile, although there are some issues that I would like to be fixed. I understand that English isn't your first language, but there are some spelling and grammatical errors that I would like to be fixed. Also, your in character sample should be more like if you were to make the first entry in a thread and not a journal.

Besides that I don't find anything else as much of an issue.

Ok, I try to change "character sample", but for the grammar, I try corrector, reverso. After, I don't know how rectifie my mistakes. Maybe you have a website to help me.

I don't know any sort of translating or spell checking sites, but if you have Microsoft word or a program like that I would recommend using that since it will usually underline grammatical errors or spelling mistakes. Also, your in character sample must be in third person past tense since that is this site's standard.

Unfortunatly, I don't have Microsoft word . I changed the tense en the personn. I spear it isn't too worse .

Everything looks good, but I would recommend working on your writing skills in English since there are still a few grammatical errors in your writing.

Accepted into Sapphire.

Sorted into Amethyst!