Arlen Santos

Full Name: Arlen Santos

Gender: Male

Age: 16

Powers: Arlen can control and summon fire with hand motions, even though the fire doesn't physically touch him. Arlen is able to use this powers in almost any weather condition but has trouble using it in really windy weather and depending on the rain, his fire can completely diminish when summoning it. He also cannot use this power underwater, of course and his power increases into dangerous levels when stressed or angered. He was born with this ability which has affected him allot in his life before Foresta.

Apperance: Arlen has brown hair and is 5"9. He doesn't have a physical or mental handicap or illness and has brown eyes and brown eyebrows. He is usually wearing red as it is his favorite color but he usually wears skinny jeans and v neck shirts. Arlen is very athletic which makes him physically fit. Arlen is always open to talk to anyone he sees but knows who he should and shouldn't talk to. He is darker then light skinned, a medium sized nose, a long-shaped face and his hair is usually neat. Arlen also has a few burn marks on his hands when he first got his powers, he was unable to control it so it would normally burn his hands. He is always with his favorite red jacket that he wears even on hot days! And Arlen is secretly obsessed with Jordans and all of them have at least some red on it.

Personality: Arlen is a natural born leader and loves to take charge when he can! He is afraid of failure so he is more determined to accomplish whatever he has to. Arlen can be a little overprotective, especially with girls and the younger kids and it can lead him to trouble. He has a strange habit of taking charge even on unecessary times, such as a lesson in class. He is very caring for others and their opinions even if they are not what he believes in and loves to talk to everyone and get to know them. Besides his secret obsession, he loves to play sports such as soccer, football, basketball and baseball. Even though he is one of the more logical thinkers, he is still open for anything, especially knowing he has a beautiful gift with him. But he cannot stand someone who tells him what to do or when he is getting yelled at, he hates it to the point where he may just fight them. He also hates things related to sexual activity because when he was in a gang they'd spend allot of money on strippers and prostitution, which made him sick. When his fire ability is released due to anger or stress, the only thing he can think of doing is surrounding himself in water until he can control his emotions which is why he showers at times of stress and anger.

Picture: Sorry I will find one I just need time. And i kinda don't know how, i don't know how so much i accidentally deleted everything and had to start over O. o So i am not gonna try again until i know for sure

Weaknesses: He is unable to control fire at times of stress or anger, and also in areas with a high amount of water, though he is able to use fire if he was wet. And Arlen also has trouble using his ability on the weak or people he under estemates.

Strengths: Arlen is able to control large amounts of fire but for a limited time before it becomes to strong for him. He is also able to use his abilities in the cold, and if he was wet. And Arlen can control the temperature of his fire making a "cold flame" to trick others but also a really hot fire that can burn almost anything.

History/Family: Arlen was born in Austin, Texas on March 21, 1997 to Charles and Alexandria Santos. His parents were very happy when they found out they were having a son. Arlen's mother knew that her son would have powers since she also had an ability, to control radiation and Charles knew but didn't mind because he loved Alexandria very much. Arlen was raised to be independent and strong in any situation. He was very popular in school for his positive and energetic personality, which made many girls have a crush on him and guys in envy of him. The only thing he did that his parents disapproved on was getting in trouble at school. He hated authority, rules, homework, basically anything he was forced to do. He would get detentions, warnings and suspensions. He never really got over that.

    Arlen one day while playing in a park was being picked on by a neighbor and when the neighbor pushed him down, Arlen fought back by pushing the neighbor away, but then saw red palm marks on the neighbors arms. The neighbor ran away in pain and horror at what just happened, of course no one believed it, but Arlen knew he had done it. That's when he found out he had an ability. He at first was in disbelief about it, thinking he was some sort of demon or monster. He was so afraid of burning something he wore gloves that he shoved in the freezer to keep cold. But soon his mother had realized this and told him that it was o.k and she would help him master his ability. He was excited to know that this was "normal", to his family of course and thought he would become a superhero and save the world!

    Unfortunately at age 12, Arlen got into an argument with his parents about going to a summer trip with some older kids, being only a kid he was angry and didn't understand why they wouldn't let him go, but it was enough to set off his ability at its strongest and everything he touched soon turned to flames. He ran away from the house in fear, hearing the screams from his parents. The last thing he heard was his mother saying, "Run Arlen! It's O.K!" He was soon noted as missing by the police. Being in fear of touching things again, he soon lived his life on the streets and refused to talk to anyone. He soon joined a gang at 13, unable to live off of the garbage, he soon had to do many things to get fed and to stay alive. He knew this was a horrible life but as long as he ate, he had to stay. He stayed this way for many years, always remembering the day he killed his parents for something so stupid and unecessary, he never forgets it, which is why he never enjoyed the violence he had to do to survive. He lived this life until he turned 16 and heard of Foresta...


In Character Sample:  

    Arlen walked into the school and noticed everyone just staring at him, he knew why of course, because he was the new kid. He wasn't the only new kid of course but he seemed to have arrived earlier then the others. Arlen decided to try and make a friend to make it less awkward but when he walked towards a group of kids, they walked of hesitant. Arlen thought to just lay low for the day, too make it less awkward then what just happened. He walked aroudn the campus, seeing so many kids just like him, conjuring things and manipulating the impossible. He was in awe at how graceful and easy they made it, using their abilities. He knew this school was just temporary until he can actually control his fire without destroying crap! Arlen arrive at his dorm and layed on his bed. He felt good laying down, he felt safe, so safe. He wasn't sure if he had a roommate but he'd be excited to have a friend to talk to. 


    Arlen exited the dorms and checked out the classrooms. He wasn't sure what each class taught, but they all seemed to have a different theme in each. He was so eager to talk to someone but after this morning, he thought he should lay low until someone talks to him first, haha. He checked his phone just to make it look like he was doing something because he wasn't so sure on what to do next. He didn't have anyone to text or call, he didn't even think his phone had service anymore. His phone seemed allot older then everyone else's, but that didn't bother him. Arlen walk around the corner into the main gate where other new students were entering, he know one of them would talk to him without running away. 


    "Hey what's up?" Arlen asked casually. The guy seemed confused at first but soon responded.

    "Not much." The guy continued to walk. Arlen noticed he was a little taller, which made him fix his posture a little more.

    "Where you from? I'm Arlen." Arlen assured him, he started to regret talking to him in the first place.

    "Montana... Oliver." Oliver says after a slight pause. Arlen wanted to leave but Oliver seemed like he was hiding the fact that he had someone to talk to.

    "Montana? Nice. I'm from Texas, terrible place... trust me." Oliver seemed to enjoy Arlen's joke. Oliver didn't seem to want to respond so Arlen continued to talk.

    "You want me to show you around. I'm new also but I'd rather talk to someone then just walk around like a zombie, haha." Arlen said worried about Oliver's answer possibly leaving him alone again.

    "Yeah alright." Oliver said slightly smiling. Soon Arlen and Oliver walked to Oliver's dorm, which was different from Arlen's. As they walked Arlen looked around a little more and got an excited feeling all of a sudden. He thought it was the school at first but he didn't get the feeling when he entered. He thought a little and then realized why he was excited. It was because he had a friend.


    Once again, thanks for the feedback! This is probably getting old but I am determined to satisfy your guy's needs. BTW if I forgot a small detail i am sorry!! Have a nice night.

You have a good start here, but you're not quite ready to be accepted first. While you have reached the minimum requirement for almost everything here, I'm a little confused at a few things.

1.) While Arlen can control this fire with his hands, what is a weakness with this power? Does he feel fatigued in rain? Is the fire dimmer during cloudy weather? Anything to that effect could work with this power since it is fire based.

2.) What appears to me is that you did the basics of what Arlen looks like, and from reading it I don't see a actual person in my head. I want to be able to read your appearance and visualize what he looks like from the description. Other things you can think to include is his demeanor, facial expressions, eyebrows, nose, face shape, any particular injuries and or scars and so on. Detail is very important!

3.) You've included things in your weaknesses and strengths section that you can also describe in other places, typically weaknesses and strengths are the shortest in length and everything else is longer.

4.) I did get a basic idea of his past with the History you've written, this part is optional for you but I would prefer you flesh out his past a tiny bit more for us.

5.) With the IC sample, since it's only dialogue I have almost no idea on how your posts could be at this site except from reading over the entire application. If you had trouble coming up with a IC sample try to write something up like you would if you were writing up your first post on here.


After you edit these things I will come back and let you know if you are accepted!
Also, thank you for applying at Foresta!

O.K I finished fixing my issues. I hope I enter Foresta! And thanks for everything so far!

Hello, my name is Tempest and I will be reviewing your application this evening.

I like the work you've put into the application. It is much more detailed than it was and that's a great start. For the most part, you've addressed the issues that Seren listed. That's good.

Now, I am concerned by a couple things. First, your character's personality is... well, too perfect. We're verging on Gary-Stu territory here and that's not a place we want to be. I need to see what makes your character tick. How does he handle anger? Sadness? Are there aspects of his personality that wouldn't make a mother proud? How on Earth did he get out of living with a gang for three years with a fully-intact moral code? Did he not pick up any bad habits from the guys he ran with for so long?

The next issues involve your IC portion. Yes, we've covered it already, but a new issue has popped up. You need to be careful about past and present tense. Most posts in a forum are written in past tense. That sort of uniformity makes it much easier to follow. However, you can use present tense to expand time or make a point. Here's an example:

Nova screamed as a bullet tore through her shoulder, damaging the ligaments, muscle, and bone. The force of the impact careened her into the wall.

As opposed to:

Nova screams as the bullet rends through her shoulder. The muscles, ligaments, and bone are torn asunder and waves of agony pass through her person all in a moment. Her body careens into a wall with the force of the impact, in a space of time both infinite as she experiences her pain and temporary as oblivion yawns up to catch her.

See how they can be used differently? Past tense can cut off dramatic moments, but it also anchors the action in a concrete place. Present tense extends moments, but it can also make them feel ephemeral. It's great for specific uses. I love using present tense for mental breaks or moments of insanity.

The point is that you have to choose ONE or the OTHER. Not BOTH.

The last thing is more of a pet-peeve of mine than an actual point you have to change. In your IC section, you opt to use first person. In most forums, the standard is third and here's why: first person can make several things very difficult. It can make creation and use of multiple characters confusing. More importantly, it can prevent a role-player from dissociating with his/her character. This dissociation is an important thing- it allows a roleplayer to put his/her character in uncomfortable situations, and it prevents them from taking wounds (particularly those that may be life-threatening).

I will not deny your application if you continue to use first person, but I urge you to reconsider it before you resubmit.

Everything else looks copacetic, so we'll take a look at your application again once you've changed the things I mentioned earlier in this post.

As always, I'll be happy to answer any questions you may have so feel free to PM me. Good luck! I look forward to seeing the final product!

Alright It's ready and done Thanks for taking the time to summarize and give feedback on my application. Means allot

This is significantly better. Thank you for the work you've put into your application.

Accepted into Ruby! Welcome to Foresta!