Practice: no fear

Koa T'sara walked swiftly to the rose garden, not paying attention to really anything. She was concentrating on not thinking. Maybe it would work this time. Mother- No. Not today. Koa shook her head. Don't think! Just don't think.
She arrived at her destination and slowed her pace considerably.
"Now let's see." She said quietly. She touched a small yellow rose on the side of the path. nothing happened.
She sighed, but didn't quit. Suddenly the rose grew larger and brighter. The stem grew thicker, and the leaves curled around the large bloom.
Koa smiled, but her jubilation was cut short as she looked around her.
She was there. Koa knew it. "Not this time…Mother." She said through clenched teeth. She took a shaky breath and tried to clear her thoughts. The only thoughts she had whereof her mother dragging her through the muddy streets. Her sitting in the hay on the floor of a large abandoned barn. Crying because she didn't understand.
Koa dropped to one knee and let out a little sob. "No…Please no…" She raked a hand through her long red hair. Her vision wavered as she stood slowly, half crawling to a bench nearby.
She fell onto it heavily and started to cry. I'll never be abled to have a day of peace. Nor a night. She thought to herself.
So much for a day of practice with no fear.

It had been a very long time since Cathal had last visited the school. In fact he couldn’t even recall the date or month even that he had set foot around Foresta. Perhaps it was the fright about kidnappings that drove him away, not that he was necessarily afraid of being captured more so him being mistaken for a person who’d be stealing the students. He was nothing of the sort, he was as harmless as a human being could be. Harmless as in he didn’t hurt people physically, sometimes.

The brief wander through the woods that was required to get to the school relatively unnoticed was simple enough now that the snow was beginning to vaporize. Winter was easily the worst season for Cathal, no house meant no warmth. Luckily his flannel laced jean jacket was enough to keep him relatively warm.

As the tattered looking man exited the brush, he was quick to notice the girl balling her eyes out on a nearby bench. His lips twisted into a pleasant smile as he altered the gravity around him to be slightly lighter than normal. To the ordinary person it was hardly noticeable, but Cathal knew it to be a good tactic to make the people talking to him feel more light and comfortable around him. It was a slight subconscious thing that he used to his advantage more often than not. He began to move toward her, though causally and cautiously. Teenagers were the easiest to manipulate, such a ball of pent up emotions was ripe to use for personal gain.

“Why so glum on such a beautiful day? Just look at the flowers, they await to be embraced not ignored. Days spent in tears are days wasted, how about it then hmm?” the man spoke pleasantly as he placed a hand on the back of the bench. He waited patiently for the girl’s answer.

Koa looked up, startled. Had he seen her crying? Of course! Who was he? Maybe if she could slip away unseen- no, he'd already seen her. Koa snapped out of it and wiped her eyes. "Um, Oh nothing. I'm just…" What could she say? "I'm just having a bad day." Well, it was the truth, in a way at least.

"Just look at the flowers, they await to be embraced…"

No. Not by me. Koa thought grimly. Never by me… Koa looked up at the sky and sighed. "She's won I think." She said quietly. Then realizing the man was still there, she stood up quickly, and turned to go. "I'm sorry, but I-I Have to..do something." A horrible excuse she knew, but she needed to be alone for a while.

She tried to run, they always tried to run. Perhaps it was because his complexion gave off the impression of a seedy individual who sold drugs to children her age in some bleak alley way, but his mere appearance shouldn’t be that off putting in comparison to some of the weirdoes he’d seen around the school previously. She wasn’t going to escape, no not yet. She was in such a vulnerable state and so easy to manipulate with just the right words. His stomach rumbled weakly as it reminded him of his goal.

“Oh, my apologies then. Don’t leave just yet though” he spoke as he swayed closer to the girl. “Running away from your problems only deepens the pain. Nobody wants that do they? My closest friend was a therapist, he even helped me get through my issues with my father. If you stick around perhaps I could lend you some advice toward whatever it is that is bothering you. I’m sure whatever that something is can wait” he spoke soothingly as he lowered the gravity around him even further. It was still at a level where everything felt the same though slightly lighter, he was becoming very good at subtle changes in gravity.

Her excuse was hardly one he’d believe, Cathal was an experienced liar and with that he could spot a lie quicker than a detective could. Besides if she truly had something to attend to she wouldn’t be killing time outside the school weeping on benches. His eyes pointed at the bench nearby. “A little knowledge couldn’t hurt now would it?” he smoothly questioned with a quirk of his brow.

Maybe he did want to help. Koa wasn't sure, but she didn't really care anyways. Someone wanted to listen. No one wanted to listen to her problems, not even mother. Koa cringed, not again. She sighed, perhaps this was the chance she'd been waiting for. To tell someone her thoughts without them scorning her or hating her. She hardly knew the man, and if he did hate her afterwards, it wouldn't be so bad since she'd just met him.

"Well. It's a long story, and I-Well…" Where to start?
"I'm having a bit of a problem you could say." There. That was alright. She could hake truth long that line, just give enough information that he'd go away- No! She wanted him to listen. To know what was in her heart all the time. Well, He is a weird stranger, but I'v seen weirder, and he's not exactly a threat. I suppose I'll just have to resign myself to someone knowing. And to telling them first. Myself.

"Alright, So when I was young, my mother blew up on me-Well, maybe I should start at the beginning." Koa said sitting down on the bench.
"I was told I had powers when I was..Oh…About 6 or so. My mother didn't know, only me and my father. I wasn't allowed to practice without mother seeing, and daddy-father told me she could never know. That it was a secret or something." Koa stumbled over her words. She guessed she should slow down, but it was hard to bare your very soul to someone. Well, not her soul…just her past.

"One day she found put, had a fit of rage and drove me from the house." Koa started to remember. The flashbacks were horrible and extremely angst filled. Koa was standing in the middle of the road, her socks and shoes covered in almost 4 inches of mud. She was crying and yelling for her mother, but she just turned her back and stalked off quickly, not even looking over her shoulder at the forlorn little girl she once loved, or so she thought. Koa snapped out of it, hoping the man hadn't notice the tears filling her eyes. She coughed and continued, "I lived on my own for about a year, till my fat he came back, rescued me, and told me that mother had died, and I could now practice without fear." She took a deep breath, "But that's the trouble. I can't. Practice without fear I mean. I feel my mother every ware. Willing me to fail. And I feel like locking myself into a high little box, sleeping in the darkness till I die. But then…It's all just psychic or something."
Koa leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees, " I can't even create a rose petal without feeling sick, collapsing or feeling my mother sticking a thorn into my side."
Koa didn't feel as embarrassed as she though she'd feel. It felt good to get it all out. To be free from at least one thing. She bit her lip, waiting of the man to respond.

Cathal followed quickly in the steps of the smaller woman, taking a relaxed sort of posture to his seating. The bench was hardly comfortable, but he was hardly the kind to complain about luxury anymore. Well, he did but he just never expected it anymore. His ears opened and he prepared for whatever the girl was ready to dish out. One could assume it would be nothing more than melodrama going on with the other girls in the school, but it was a bit deeper than he had expected. His face displayed genuine intrigue the whole way through her spiel and even though his mind detracted here and there his expressions never fazed.

The way she spoke about her mother in a minor way reminded Cathal of his own, though only through the reference point of the both of them being dead. Even though it had been many years since her passing it still was a sting to him. The memories of his past life only beat down how far he had fallen. A life he never even imagined he would lead that only began after her death. It was hardly a subject he liked to think about nor was it necessary to. Whereas he held onto nothing but good memories of his mother, the woman seemed like the opposite. Truly she needed psychiatrical help, unfortunate that Cathal couldn’t actually give her any. He could make some up however.

His fingers interlaced and were held closer to his face as it changed pensively. He took a moment to figure out how to mold his words because this one was going to be a long one. “If you let things hold you back you’ll never grow. Think about, let’s say a tree. As it develops, if there’s an obstacle in its path it’ll just grow around it. If you don’t grow around it, you’ll either never grow past it or you’ll entangle yourself within it even deeper. If you give in, your mother wins. It isn’t an easy struggle, as I said before my father and I hated each other. If I worry myself so much with what he thinks then he’s already won. He wasn’t excepting of my gifts either, he’d beat me every time I tried to practise. I went through the struggle on my own and well, it hasn’t gotten me anywhere pretty. Too many times have I seen those with gifts be shunned by their own families, I’m sick of it. I’d be willing to give you as much as I can offer to get you through because the last thing I want to see is another ending up like me.” he ranted calmly as though he was a professionally trained therapist.

Koa couldn't help but smile. "Thanks…I appreciate the advice. I'd like it if you helped me."

Somewhere a little bird flew from it's cage, the door was no longer locked. It was a most reliving feeling. Almost Like she could do anything she wanted. Without her mother there. Watching her every move, waiting and watching her to see if she would fail. But then…there was also another side.
Koa didn't want anyone to help her She was strong enough by herself. Locking herself up never hurt before now, did it? She should have never let this man pry into her life. To trick her into telling her secrets.
But in the end, her hopeful side won, and she was really curious as to what he could teach her, or advise her on.
"What, well, t-that is, um, what c-could you teach me? Or advise me on?" She said, stuttering a bit from anxiety. She was always anxious when speaking alone with someone. No one there to tell you what to say or how to act. "I-I think I should go soon though." She said looking up at the sky, while shading her eyes from the light.

Cathal gently returned a smile at the young woman. The mind of the youths these days were so impressionable, all he needed was the right words to earn their trust. Though, he was hardly at the point where his place was secured and he wouldn’t want to lose all the progress he made so quickly. He stroked his stubble as he listened to the girl’s words once more, her suspicions being minimal as suspected. She still seemed quite uncomfortable around him but so did many so it wasn’t new ground for him to tread. “Don’t mention it, I look forward to nothing more than helping the citizens of this port. It makes me forget my past sins” he spoke in a tone of reflection as his eyes wandered.

His gleaming brown eyes honed back onto the girl as she continued to speak. “I can provide you with any advice you need. Depression is not something that should be dealt with alone nor fear. Even if you believe whatever advice you make for yourself, it doesn’t hurt to get a second opinion especially when that opinion is coming from someone who’s been down the same road. I’d hate to see anyone end up like me, jobless and homeless. For now, practice your power. Perfect it, it’ll help you in the long run and don’t let some image of your mother stop you” he continued to advise as though he had a doctorate in psychology.

Cathal glanced shortly at the position of the sun, it hardly moved since they first sat down so it wasn’t like a significant amount of time passed. Letting her go at some point would probably be wise since it would give her time to think over what he’s said so far. He was confident enough that his words must have struck something within her. “Leave anytime you feel comfortable. I wouldn’t want you to be late for anything in your schedule. If you do though, I’ll be around here the same time as now any day of the week. If you’re in trouble for any reason feel free to ask me” he sincerely told the girl. “What’s your name by the way? I’m Cathal.”

"Oh, thanks. I'm Koa T'sara. just Koa or T'sara is what most people I know call me." Koa said, a small smile tickling her lips, "Which isn't very many. But you can call me whoever you want."
That ;art statement didn't seem to make sense to her, but at the same time it did. Why did everything have to be so confusing? And if this was that hard, imagine when a younger person tried to talk to me! Koa almost shuddered. What a weirdo I am.  "I haven't much to do, I just thought I'd write a little and go read maybe in my dorm." Koa hoped- well, she didn't really know. It was nice to have a semi easy conversation with someone, but she needed to be by herself for a while. To process everything that had taken place. But then if she left now, there might be a chance that she would meet another person on her way to her dorm. Oh well. It's time to take a few risks. "I'd better go, thanks for listening." She said, flashing a quick smile, then getting up and heading to the dorms.

Cathal continued his friendly grin as he received Koa’s name and her thanks for his listening. “Koa’s a very simple yet rare name, I think I’ll stick to that. Fits you quite well I would say” he complimented as he too got off their shared bench. He nodded simply as the young woman continued to justify her leaving. It didn’t bother him that much, he said what he had to say to her all that was left was for her to process his offerings and eventually come to a decision on whether to trust him at all. Given his overt helpfulness he had a hard time believing that she was anything other than satisfied with his advice.

“Anytime, anytime. Be seeing you around then” he spoke with ease as he let the girl run off to her dorm at last. With Koa leaving him alone in the garden, he figured now would be the best time for him to leave as well. He didn’t exactly want to be caught by a teacher around campus if he didn’t have some sort of liability around to save his skin. He turned back to the forest that lied near the garden as he flipped his collar back up. “It’ll only be a matter of time” he soothingly whispered to himself as he eased the gravity back to its normal force. The port was hardly a step up from the school, but he couldn’t stay there forever, as stated before he’d be caught fairly quickly if he ventured further onto school grounds.