Gimme guidance? ( Amethyst Rain )

It was about 10 o clock in the morning, and Van was in his office, reading a book. The room was small, and it didn't have an individual touch...The way he had gotten it, he had left it. The reason behind this was that he didn't care about teaching, and especially councelling, which was many times worse, since it required a higher degree of personal contact. 

He was dressed in a simple, black shirt with buttons down the front, that nicely suited his toned figure and broad shoulders, with sleeves reaching down his wrists and, perhaps a bit unusually from a fashion perspective, a pair of black leather gloves in his hands. He was also wearing jeans, and the book he was reading was thin, but it looked very old, with a single, odd symbol at the front of its hard cover and no title. 

The relief with counceling was that no one ever actually came to him. He understood how students should be reluctant to just approach someone they didn't know, hadn't interacted with before, and share their worries or ask for help, especially if that someone had made some effort to mingle with others as much as possible. For that reason, while he was true to his word and present at his office during office hours, he was quite relieved to know that it would be highly unlikely for a visit. 

For several long minutes Elleko had been standing in front of the bulletin board, reading the list of students and their corresponding guidance counselors. Though she was making an effort to look normal the shark-girl was clearly flushed and restless; her tail flicked back and forth almost irritably and she absently rubbed at her left shoulder, where the edges of rough scars could be seen peeking past the collar of her sundress. Elleko wasn't one to go for help, certainly not to a stranger, but she had been awake since the middle of the night after being assaulted by nightmares, and knew she needed some kind of help. Her brother's disappearance had been weighing heavily on her mind lately, her relationship with her surrogate human family was strained to say the least, and recently she'd unintentionally overheard a group of other students talking about their plans after leaving Foresta and she'd had a startling realization that she had no semblance of an idea of what to do herself that had sent her into a spinning mental downfall. And on top of this, there was nobody at Foresta for her to talk to. Her friends were nonexistent. And so here she was, staring at her assigned counselor's name uneasily.

Imvaernarho...she certainly didn't know that particular teacher and it made her all the more nervous, but after taking a steadying breath she turned and made her way up to the second floor in search of his classroom. It wasn't long before she found it and she stood in front of the door for a moment before hesitantly raising one hand and knocking.

The man blinked in surprise when he heard the knock on the door, distracting him from his thorough, intensive reading. This was a first, and for a few moments, he was speechless. Perhaps it was the next door being knocked at? Perhaps it was some other professor, or a janitor? The man's nostrils flared, and through his extremely sharp sense of smell, he disproved all these hopes...the scent didn't belong to a staff member, and came from right in front of his closed door. 

"Come in." he said, his voice deep and masculine, and with a certain, natural loudness, that because of this natural aspect allowed him to sound calm and collected at the same time as being just a bit loud. With a small sigh, he closed his book after taking note of the page's number, and set it down on his desk, hoping this would be a mistake. Perhaps they weren't looking for him.

Van appeared to be a man in his early thirties, with a handsome yet expressionless face as if cut in stone, fair skin and light blue-gray eyes, as well as hair which seemed to be silver or platinum in colour depending on the light, and combed backwards. With his arms crossed at his broad chest, he waited to see just what kind of person would walk in, and what their purpose would be.

Elleko jumped slightly at the deep voice and cautiously opened the door, hovering in the doorway awkwardly. She was always worried to meet a new person; most didn't react incredibly well upon first seeing her. She understood, of course, but that didn't make it any less nerve-wracking. She was far from anything most people had seen, with her blue-gray skin, finned tail, spined fins running along her forearms, webbed fingers and toes, and blunted claws in place of fingernails. Her black hair fell in sheets around her face, seeming to shield her, and her matching eyes wandered across the office, landing everywhere but on the teacher within. He looked much more intimidating than she'd expected. But his scent--his scent was what really made her cut her gaze away. She'd never smelled it before, she didn't know what it was. Of course, there were plenty of people like that at Foresta.

"I'm l-looking for...um...f-for my g-guidance c-counselor," she told him softly, internally cursing her stutter. "M-my name is E-Elleko."

Contrary to Elleko, Van had smelled that scent before, and he had met the girl's people, long ago. He remembered it, much like her remembered the scent of every person or race he had met. His reaction might have been a bit surprising, because contrary to many, he didn't seem alarmed or even surprised or curious about Elleko's appearance. Instead, once his keen mind identified the name and confirmed that she was, indeed, one of his duties -to his disappointment that this wasn't a mistake-, he nodded. 

"That's me." he confirmed. "You can call me Van, it's simpler." he stated in a calm, natural tone, not sounding uncomfortable in the least bit about the girl's presence or look. In the back of his mind, he hoped that his last remark would help so that the girl wouldn't think he offered that name to foster familiarity between them. It was just difficult for someone who doesn't speak draconic to properly speak his name, and his name spoken wrong was a bit of an annoyance. 

With practiced movements, Van took a pipe out from his coat hanging from the back of his chair, then used a match to light it, and took in a deep breath, before exhaling from both his nostrils, a puff so light it was almost white and dissolved instantly. He was using a special kind of herb, and it smelled discreet and almost sweet. "What do you want guidance about?" he asked, gesturing at the chair in front of his desk, getting to the point.

Elleko nodded silently at his response, and after another moment of hesitation slowly moved to the chair he indicated and sat, shifting her tail so it draped comfortably over the side of the seat. His question sparked another wave of whirling thoughts and emotions through her and she looking around the room, slowly and carefully taking note of everything in it to calm herself. It was oddly plain, as if he hadn't cared to personalize it, which she thought was odd but didn't dare comment on. Finally she latched onto the scent of the herb, another thing unfamiliar to her, and considered it for a moment as she tried to figure out how to answer his question. Was this a mistake, should she just apologize and leave? She could handle it on her own, she had before. But that would be just about the most awkward moment of her life, she thought, and she wasn't sure if she did that she could ever look at Van again. She'd backed herself into a corner.

Feeling a light blush heat up her face, coloring her cheeks a faint violet shade due to the hue of her skin, she looked down at her hands as she spoke, picking anxiously at her claws. "I-I just...w-well...I..." She trailed off and took a deep breath, one hand coming up to rub at her scars again seemingly on its own. "I r-realized y-yesterday that I...I h-have no i-idea w-what to do a-after...after I l-leave F-Foresta, and I've b-been having n-nightmares l-lately about, u-um, m-my b-brother and s-something that happened to h-him and s-something that h-happened to m-my f-family a-and I d-don't know w-what to do a-about it and I d-didn't know w-who else to t-talk to....I don't r-really h-have f-friends," she added more softly, her blush worsening.

Van observed how the girl moved when she took a seat, his eyes picking up subtle details, and how she seemed so nervous. Also how she scratched at her shoulders. And then, he raised an eyebrow when the girl started speaking, only to release an onslaught of stammering, blurred words, no cohesion between them, skipping from one subject to the other. This was a mess. A teenage mess, even worse. Van hadn't been a...teen...for the last 750 years or so, and even when he was young, he wasn't a typical one. 

He sighed softly, and one hand came to rub his right temple, to try and sort this out. This girl seemed like the everyday teenager, having some troubles and issues...and this time, it seemed like it was his duty to tackle this. Why? His eyes then fell on the book in front of him. The wealth of knowledge found in the Academy was worth it, if it could save his life. 

His eyes then moved to the door. Closed. That was good, and he didn't hear any footsteps outside. "Listen." he started. "You trust me enough to come to me, a stranger, and tell me about your fears and worries. Before we continue, I want you to take a breath from this." he said in a firm tone, and held out his pipe towards her. "It's not tobacco or smoke, it won't harm your lungs or health. It's not addictive, nor hallucigenic, and doesn't harm your brain cells. It just relaxes you. Go ahead." he said, his tone steady and strong, yet also showing care how he went to a great length- at least for his standards- to explain why it was safe. It contained a painkiller that he used in order to somewhat fight the pain, constant and anguishing, inflicted to him by the curse. But in a small dosage, it could relax someone. "One breath of this, and then tell me again about all that, one at a time." he directed her, holding out the pipe in his gloved hand over the desk that was between them.

It was certainly a most unusual and unorthodox action for a professor to offer something like that to a student. Perhaps it went to show how Van wasn't a regular professor. 

At first Elleko only stared at the pipe, shocked. A teacher offering her this? She'd never imagined that would happen. But if he was using it it was probably safe. Right? And he was a teacher, she shouldn't turn down a teacher, especially since he was trying to help. So she took the pipe carefully, staring down at it for a moment before taking a breath. She'd never used anything like a pipe before, so she could only hope she did it right, but it did seem to relax her. She handed it back to Van and looked down again, finally speaking once more. Her stutter was still present, as if had been since she'd first learned to speak, but she found it easier to explain herself.

"M-my b-brother was kidnapped...by h-humans," she started slowly, wincing at the reminder of the incident. "I s-saw it h-happen but I-I c-couldn't do anything. I k-keep h-having nightmares a-about it. A-and right b-before I came h-here I a-accidentally h-hurt the d-daughter of a h-human who h-helped me a-after, I d-didn't m-mean to but I c-could have k-killed her, and I have n-nightmares a-about that, t-too.  And y-yesterday I r-realized th-that I d-don't know w-what I'm going to d-do after I l-leave F-Foresta. I c-can't g-go back to l-live in the o-ocean on m-my own and I a-always h-hurt humans w-when I try to l-live w-with them. I k-keep l-losing my h-home and I d-don't w-want to a-again." She hesitated and finally finished quietly, "I d-didn't know w-who else t-to g-go to for h-help."

Van nodded in approval when the girl followed his instructions, and took his pipe back, taking in a breath of his own and exhaling from both his nostrils, the puff almost instantly dissolving. It helped him, but only a bit. At his pitiful state, every little bit was more than welcome though.

When the girl spoke again and still stuttered, both of his eyebrows were raised a bit, and he resisted the urge to facepalm and shake his head. It seemed he'd have to deal with that too, or perhaps manage to help the girl relax.

"Alright..." he said in his deep voice, trying to instill calmness in the room. He leaned a bit closer to the desk, and let his elbows rest on it. "Let's start from the simple things first. We'll focus on one thing at a time." he said, setting some base rules for how the conversation would go, to have some meaning.

"You say you hurt people by mistake. How does it happen? How did it happen with that girl you mentioned, and in what way are you worried you might hurt people again if you try to live alongside them, in their human society?" he asked calmly, looking into her eyes.

"I was...h-hunting," she answered carefully, bracing herself for his reaction. No matter how she tried to fit into human society the urge to hunt for herself never entirely left her. She was a predator, after all, and eating pre-killed food wasn't quite the same. She only hunted in the ocean, of course, and only far away from people. That was her element. She shuddered as she remembered the day she'd hurt Callie, how fast it had happened. "Sh-she f-followed me and I d-didn't know. She s-scratched h-herself on s-something in the water and I-I j-just s-smelled the b-blood...I a-always keep a-away from p-people so I d-didn't th-thank she'd b-be there." Elleko looked down again, studying her clawed fingers. "I-I'm b-built to...k-kill things...what if I-I d-do it again? What i-if i-it's worse n-next time?"

Van listened carefully, and he nodded at those words. He didn't even blink twice when she explained the situation, and her hunting instincts,not surprised or shocked, not alarmed or feeling threatened. Just complete calmness, and assessment of the situation. "I understand." he said finally. Did he really? Surprisingly, there was nothing in his tone or eyes that could show he was just saying this, that he didn't actually mean it. 

"There's some ways to approach this..." he stated after a ponderous pause. "One would be to adapt to cooked food. Or, not necessarily cooked, but raw. Still, not something you hunt yourself." he explained. "It might sound difficult, but most predators can adapt. Yes, at first you might miss it, and the thrill of the hunt, but you will be the one to give the answer: What is more important to you, living along humans, or hunting?" he stated, but his tone of voice was flat, not emphasizing the need for social co-existence over hunting like one might have done, as if those two were equally important in his mind. 

"Another way, not necessarily mutually exclusive with the other, is to find a hunting place that is almost entirely inaccessible by humans. Perhaps rocks or depths would be enough to guarantee no human presence, making your hunting safer." he offered another thought.

"At any case, it's certainly not impossible, so you shouldn't worry about that. Many other predatory beings have managed to co-exist with humans. But only when they have felt, in their hearts, that it's worth the effort." he said, pausing to allow the girl to process his words in her mind.

Elleko nodded, still looking down as she processed his words. She understood his point, and she had adapted well to regular human food already. She liked it, even, but the occassional hunt kept her from feeling like she had lost everything she was supposed to be. She wore clothes, she walked on land, she spoke English, she went to school--she hardly felt like a part of her own kind anymore. And she'd never be human, so what would she be if she let go of the few things keeping her tied to her home?

"I e-eat h-human food," she told Van. "I l-like it. I only h-hunt...o-once a m-month, m-maybe." Hunting wasn't the problem, really. She hadn't had an incident since Callie, and in seven years before it hadn't had one at all. It was only one time, a fluke, or so she hoped. But nevertheless every aspect of her was designed to kill. She kept her claws filed down, hands and feet both, she hid her fangs when she spoke, and she didn't dare go near the water with anybody unless she had to, even when she had no desire to hunt. People were scared of her and they had every right to be. "B-but e-even when I'm n-not h-hunting I c-can h-hurt people..."

Van nodded one more time. "To me, it sounds like you shouldn't be too worried. It sounds like adaptation is easy for you, easier than how many have it. Some beings, like vampires, can't survive without human blood, but some, some who truly want it, manage to find ways. As for being able to hurt others even when not hunting....Well, perhaps next time you're in a classroom, look around you and try to find someone who can't harm people." he pointed out, eyes fixed on hers. He took in a deep breath through his pipe, and exhaled a white puff through his nostrils. "I'm pretty sure you will find no one, not even the professor." he stated in a confident tone. "For that reason, you shouldn't worry too much. Just enough to keep yourself from causing one more accident." he stated.

"On the other hand, why go through such hardships to be around people? Why don't you live out there at the seas and ocean? I'm sure you could find sea creatures, beautiful places, perhaps even your own people to be with, instead of forcing this. You said you haven't made any friends yet, correct?" he said, showing another thing to ponder on.

There was something in the way he addressed each thing head on, without hesitating, and at the same time, he spoke in a way that tried to convey Elleko didn't have a real need to worry. Was he looking at things with less gravity than he should, or the gravity she was giving them, or were they so simple to him, a given that one can be a master of themselves and choose anything they really wanted?

What he was saying made sense. This was a school for those with inhuman powers, after all; Elleko supposed all of them could hurt people. Why hadn't she thought of that before? Probably because she never hung out with them. It didn't entirely register in her mind that they could do things like her, most of them looked so human.

But then his last words hit her and she ducked her head, something seeming to ripple through her. She seemed to become smaller in her chair, as if shrinking into her already-small self. He was right, she had no friends. She had nothing tying her here, except for the humans that had taken her in who now seemed to flinch at the sight of her. But what did the ocean have for her? Her people were dying off, and quickly, she knew that. She had no idea where her family had gone. They had traveled constantly when she'd been with them; there was just too much ocean for her to have any faith that she'd find them. She nodded in answer to his question, still avoiding his eyes. "I-I'm n-not good at...at m-making f-friends. Or t-talking to p-people."

Van raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to make friends?" he asked, his tone very serious. "Social constructs and idealized notions aside, do you feel the need to make friends, to socialize?" he asked. "Humans generally have that need, but that's humans. Some creatures who are not humans lack it, but when they try to integrate to a more human-like lifestyle, some are lead to believe that they need to make friends or be accepted, when in truth, they lack such instincts. So...what about you?" he asked, taking another puff from his pipe.

"If you feel you truly want to make friends, that a part of you feels incomplete without them, then consider this. What if someone approached you, and tried to talk with you? They asked about you, or just made small talk, or helped with something you were doing? Perhaps offering a small smile too?" he asked. "Now, what if they were a bit...odd looking. Not exactly like you. Perhaps they were a bit odd to the eye, perhaps a bit clutzy, and their fangs a bit sharp when they smiled, and they were obviously very, very nervous about approaching you? But, what if you could also feel it, genuinely, how they wanted to approach you, how they wanted to talk? So much that they were fighting against their nervousness?" he asked, pausing for a moment, to let the girl visualize that.

"Would you shun them? Would you keep them away? Would you deny them because they are nervous or a bit odd?" he asked, pausing again. "In this place, you're not the only one who feels different, unwanted and who thinks they can't make friends. Humans are all humans, so, they are cautious about someone different. Here...most of us are different, and thus, we don't have such barriers, usually." he tried to explain.