Music To Dance To {Open}

Shay forced a smile. Jace seemed… Off. Like he was unsure about her last request, but maybe he just wasn’t used to that. Maybe she was being blunt, she wasn’t sure, but she felt a bit embarrassed. Her cheeks flushed a darker red, and she was hoping Jace wouldn’t notice it.

“Yeah, well, I don’t know anyone else here… And like… I guess we’re friends, right?” Shay blubbered, unsure of what she was saying. She suddenly had an uncertainty of herself, feeling like a fool for what she was saying.

And then it hit her, what she was saying to him. We’re friends, right? She felt so unsure about it. She had promised herself she wasn’t going to get close to anyone when she came here, she had promised. She couldn’t hurt anymore people than she already had. And Jace would have no idea what her power was capable of doing to people if she would let herself go. It would drive them insane, literally. And she would be on the run again, trying to escape what she’s done. I’m a drug, it’s who I am.

“But, we’ve just met I guess, so friends doesn’t really sound right, hm.” She said quickly after her last question, her eyes wide. Wait, would that offend him? What am I saying here? He won’t want to see me… What the fuck am I doing? Her thoughts raced, feeling extremely uncomfortable. She wanted to take back everything she just said. To just forget it all, so she wouldn’t have to worry for rejection.


[[Ah, sorry for the crappy post. My mind’s on writer’s block at the moment]]

{{{OOC: Don’t worry it happens to all of us xD besides there’s nothing wrong with it ^^ sorry it took me so long to reply}}}

Jace shifted his backpack at his feet and he watched with interest as Shay’s cheeks turned red. What did she have to be embarrassed about? he wondered. He ran a hand through his hair in a tired motion, he hadn’t been getting much sleep lately – not that he normally got much anyway, but recently he was finding it harder and harder to get five hours a night.
“Yeah, well, I don’t know anyone else here… And like… I guess we’re friends, right?” Jace smiled wearily and nodded slightly, he considered them friends, even though they had only been talking what? Fifteen minutes? Jace didn’t make friends easily and that he’d lasted this long was some what of an accomplishment.
Well done mate, you just admitted that you have a friend…. Now don’t mess it up
Jace shot a look at the ghost, knowing that he was serious about the messing it up thing, not just joking. “But, we’ve just met I guess, so friends doesn’t really sound right, hm.” Shay suddenly looked tense and Jace blinked, a little confused at her unexpected change of heart. He floundered for something to say for a moment. Is she serious? Why the abrupt mind change? Is there something wrong with me? the thoughts rushed about is head until he finally silenced them by digging his nails into his palms – something he didn’t do often – and saying “I guess.” That was all he could think of.
What the hell?
Dylan questioned, looking as confused as Jace felt. The ghost turned to him bafflement clear in his movements
How in hell did you screw that up?
He asked, frowning and dusting his immaculate clothes. Jace shrugged and leaned against the top of the piano, resting his elbow on the smooth wood. His other hand ended up in his pocket, where his lighter resided. His fingers curled protectively around it – as they always did when he felt wary and confused. The cool metal relaxed him slightly and he tried to think of something to say to fill the deafening silence. He looked to Dylan for some sort of inspiration but the ghost only shrugged at him unhelpfully. Jace blinked to get rid of some of the sleep in his eyes, god he needed coffee. He glanced at his watch, it was still early and he wondered if the school café would be packed yet or not. He hated the schools coffee but it should still have caffeine and that’s what he needed. “Erm… if you don’t mind me asking…” he trailed off, blushing furiously, he turned away muttering a hasty “doesn’t matter.”

Shay felt everything become suddenly so awkward. And it’s my fault. She felt like running, like she always did when things got complicated. She ran from her problems, she wasn’t brave or courageous, she was just a big scaredy-cat. She just held this large and strong appearance and fake personality to make up for what she was lost in.

“Er, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean… Uh, sorry, I just uh….” She was lost for words. What could she say? She felt her knees start to shake. She needed to run, to break free. To find some peace from her fears of rejection and pain. “I just screwed up, didn’t I?” She said to herself aloud, her hand scratching the back of her neck as she usually did when things became a nervous wreck for her. She laughed at herself quietly, looking away form Jace. She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t watch him. She was scared of his reaction.

“Look, uh, don’t mind me. I’m not making much sense right now, hmm.” She sighed, looking down at the ground, calming down a bit. Great, he must think I’m a freak now. I don’t even know what the hell I’m saying. She gave a glance at Jace for a second, faking her smile, but she knew this time it wasn’t at all believable, but she still tried. He won’t want to talk to me again… Aw, shit.

She thought about turning away and leaving just then, but she wasn’t sure. Something was still hoping he wouldn’t think she was just a lunatic, even if it was just a small spark of hope. Her legs were still slightly shaking, so she let herself drop to the floor, sitting cross-legged on the ground, her gaze pointed towards her shoes. “…There’s just a lot on my mind, and I can’t seem to get myself together anymore.”

Jace frowned, wondering what was wrong with him. Not only did Shay suddenly think that there was something wrong with him but he knew that he was acting strangely anyway. He took a breath and held it looking around the ballroom as if it held the answers, there was a light and dark theme in the room the large windows leaking sunlight but the ceiling balanced it out somehow making it look like twilight. Jace glanced at his watch, realising that it was only one in the afternoon. Holy crap he thought I wonder how dark this room looks normally, he gazed around it in awe.
Er, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean… Uh, sorry, I just uh… I just screwed up, didn’t I?” Jace blinked as he was pulled out of his thoughts and he blushed wondering if Shay noticed, he tended to let his mind wander a little too much – especially if he was confused. He watched her actions carefully, she had a slight shake in her movements and when she laughed Jace could hear the tension in it. He frowned, trying to think of something to say that wouldn’t sound completely fake.
What are you waiting for? Something to fall out of the sky?
Dylan demanded, managing to look annoyed even as he was smiling. Jace winced and opened his mouth “erm… no… I… I don’t think so… I mean… erm…” Jace trailed off blushing more than he had ever before. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know how to be comforting and tell people it was all right – and it was alright there was nothing wrong with what Shay had said. Was there? Jace shook his head, trying to calm the blush but also to clear his thoughts. Dylan had moved over to the wall and was repeatedly pretending to smack his head against it, Jace pulled a face at him and considered sending him a less than polite gesture; deciding against it at the last moment. Instead he dropped his head into his hands, covering his eyes with his palms.
“Look, uh, don’t mind me. I’m not making much sense right now, hmm.” Jace tried to smile but it was half hearted at best. God what was wrong with him? he didn’t know what to say – though that was an everyday occurrence so it wasn’t that. Jace didn’t know what it was only that he felt like more of an idiot than usual. He snuck a glance at Shay through his fingers, seeing the tightness in the corners of her mouth, he had seen that smile before, on his own face as the cops tried to introduce him to someone who could ‘help’ and it was as fake as the psychiatrists he used it on.
Jace blinked rapidly, not sure why but knowing that for whatever reason, it helped. Shay dropped to the floor, and she sat cross-legged staring at her shoes – Jace watched her carefully from the corner of his eye. “…There’s just a lot on my mind, and I can’t seem to get myself together anymore.” Jace raised his head up from the cradle that his hands made to laugh almost silently. “Yeah” he grinned “I know what that’s like… it’s almost too familiar” he smiled and slid off the piano bench to join her on the floor.

Jace’s words seemed to echo in Shay’s head, and her thoughts twisted them over and analyzed them. “I know what that’s like… It’s almost too familiar.” It felt nice, knowing someone understood her somewhat. It was comforting, and she felt like she could tell him things, like he could understand, even though she didn’t completely even understand herself anymore. It was like a little spark of hope just flew up inside her, but it was little. It wasn’t much, but it was a start, right?

Jace joined her on the ground and she smiled at him, it was a small one, but it was real. It was rarely she gave a real smile, because she never felt she would be able to open up. Well, she didn’t exactly feel like she could open up to him right then, but she knew she wanted to. Maybe someday, she hoped she would be able to open up her feelings to someone, because she was getting sick of keeping them locked up inside her all the time, and it seemed to become like a really bad sickness and disease sucking out her own spirit every passing second.

“Mhm. I guess you’ve been through a lot too, huh?” Shay said in a quiet voice, looking up from her shoes to him. She couldn’t imagine what he’s been through, and neither did she want to imagine it. But still, curiosity was getting the better of her, and something in her told her she needed to know.

She couldn’t imagine being someone else and going through hell another way. Sure, she had to admit, her life was pretty shitty. Everyone around her seemed to just be losing their way, and she was plummeting down from her heaven to the bottom of hell. She had gone from being just some troubled teen living downtown to leaving home and living on the streets and then resorting to selling her body for cash and a place to sleep at night. The only people who she ever trusted ended up hurting her in the end. And then to top it off, she was a freak with some mutation to her. But, it was better than actually having no home for your whole life, she could still be on the streets with no shelter or food, constantly begging to others for what she can't afford, or having some disease like cancer. She was healthy and getting better, so she couldn't be complaining much.

Looking at Jace, he seemed like the type that had been through quite a bit in his life. Maybe the typical thief or addict, or maybe it was just something more. There was just something about him, something more to him, that made Shay a little nervous. But she knew she could deal with it, she had lived practically her whole life with the troubled kids from downtown, or the trouble causing people of downtown New York.

Jace couldn't help but smile at Shay as she smiled at him; he had always thought that smiling was contagious - well if you knew the person that was smiling that is. He idly picked at a loose thread on his shoes, god they were scruffy; he really needed to start taking some pride in his appearance.
“Mhm. I guess you’ve been through a lot too, huh?” Jace looked up at that and forced a small laugh, though there was no humour in it "you could say that" was all he said though. .He debated whether or not to elaborate and explain further but at that moment he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Something inside him was telling him to keep his mouth shut and it wasn't just Dylan who was miming zipping his mouth closed it was something else. It’s probably best if I don’t say anything he thought sadly she'll only think I’m a freak if I tell her anyway. He thought about his past, it definitely wasn't full of happiness and rainbows that was for sure, he thought about his mother rotting in hell and his father rotting in jail and sighed it wasn't as if anyone would want to hear the story there. Well, it was interesting meaning that people most likely would want to hear it but he wasn’t going to take that risk, besides it was kind of personal.
I wouldn’t say anything if I were you
The ghost warned and Jace nodded slightly, he had already come to that conclusion.
But you have to say something… you can’t just leave it at that…
Dylan continued in a sort of whisper, as if he was talking more to himself than Jace – then again he probably was just talking to himself.
You have to say something, so tell her something otherwise poof! Gone is the trust in this friendship
Jace didn’t know what to think, he knew that the ghost was telling the truth but he didn’t know what to say. Hey I got to watch my dad kill my mother – twice! It just didn’t sound right – in fact it sounded down right creepy. “erm…” he started “by that I mean… just well, life’s rough you’ve got to get through it though” he pulled a face “unfortunately. I guess some of us are just more unlucky than others.” He continued thinking about the dozens of foster parents that he had had, they were awful and never really understood him – not unlike his real parents really. “My past… is probably one of the unlucky ones – the high points being games I made out of it, did you know that if you’re persistent enough psychiatrists go crazy themselves?” he grinned, he remembered Dr. Alder, god he had hated him but he cracked in the end – just like all of the others. Jace realised then that he didn’t mind if Shay started to think that he was crazy and weird – it was probably true anyway, and his smile grew.